Episode #100-Wherefore Art Thou, Pokemon

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Venonat!

Written by Zidane

The announcer begins by telling that after a victory from Prima, Ash and the group are now headed for the next Orange League gym.

Victory from Prima?  Prima beat the living crap out of Ash's pokemon twice and he still says that it's a victory for Ash?  I'm guessing that the animators forgot to take their medication the day they came up with this one.

Ash makes a very stupid comment, saying that the town looks like "Merry old England".

It actually does, but I totally disagree with the merry old part.  England is a Monarchy, and everyone knows how hellish it can to be ruled over by a king.  And if you've watched the very horrible show Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog, then you'll know what I mean.  Geez, that show sucked.

Anyway, a girl runs over and yells out "Nidoran!", obviously calling for it.  I don't know if you guys noticed this, but the girl looks almost exactly like Ashley(the girl that Ash dressed up as in Pokemon Scent-Sation)!  The only different is that the dress is a bit shorter and the face looks exactly like Misty's.

The girl runs over to the group and asks if they've seen her Nidoran.  The group doesn't reply, and she just assumes that they're new from here, which is correct.  The girl begins to describe her Nidoran, which she claims is the best Nidoran in the whole wide world.

Ash looks up Nidoran in his pokedex, but the girl tells him its the wrong one, because the pokedex looked up the male version.  She has the female version.  After looking at both versions, Ash then makes another stupid comment saying, "I never knew the male and female were so different".

Well of course they're different!  Human males and human females are extremely different from each other, why couldn't pokemon be the same!

The group begins to search for Maria in a garden, and Pikachu ends up floating away from the search and glides his attention over to a freaky pink fruit that's hanging from a fruit.  As Pikachu eats the fruit, Ash is calling Maria, but he hears someone else call "Tony", so he calls out Tony, but stops in mid-voice after realizing his mistake.

And you might notice there's a famous film reference here.  Tony and Maria were the two main characters in "West Side Story", with Maria being on the Sharks, and Tony being on the Jets.  The same situation here is repeated in the movie.  However, nearing the end, Maria and Tony have some wet, hot sex, but I'm pretty sure they won't animate THAT in pokemon.  If they do, then "YAY" for Democracy!

A boy that's dressed up almost exactly like a Jr. Trainer in Gold Version runs over.  The boy tells him he's looking for his pokemon, Tony, which is surprise, a Nidoran.  His description of the freaky poison pokemon is almost exactly the same as the girl's description, and after telling him about it, Ash says that he's seen 2 Nidoran in one day.  Just as the boy's about to ask why, the girl and Tracey run over.  The boy gets very angered at the girl, saying that she's a thief, and the two begin to argue much like our famous couple, Ash and Misty.  After the argument, the two begin to stick fight in a very wimpy manner(I can stick fight much better than the way they did it).

Marril walks over and signals them that he/she has found the Nidoran, and upon hearing this, the group runs over to where Marril leads them.  It is revealed that both Tony and Maria, the Nidoran, are cuddling up in a very disturbing manner.  Most kids will just dismiss this as something the animators did when it was Miller Time.  The others will become una-bombers.

The group observes as the Nidoran give each other roses, each one refusing and giving it back to the other in sympathy.  Misty says that it's obvious what's going on with those two.  They're in love!  LOOOOOVVEEE!!!   Of course, Ash doesn't give squat about this.

The girl and the boy laugh at the two Nidoran(in a good way), but after seeing each other, they put on that stubborn look we all know too well and carry off their Nidoran, acting much like Ash and Misty and the actors in a Shakespeare film.

The group(excluding the boy and the girl) eat at a restaurant, talking to the cook, and the cook tells them about the boy and the girl.  It is then revealed that the boy's name is Ralph and the girl's name is Emily, and they have been competing against each other ever since they could walk and catch pokemon.  Ralph and Emily always seem to catch the exact same pokemon, which is almost mathematically impossible if you study probability.  It's actually 1/151 multiplied by 1/151, and that's only if every pokemon can have a pair of it.

The group walks out of the restaurant, and Misty decides that she must help the pokemon.  Tracey spots Tony, and the group follows him to a large house.  Tony is calling to Maria, which is looking over a top balcony.

Reference to another movie!  I don't remember what the name of it is, but it's where a knight in shining armor had to climb up to a princess by using the princess' really long hair.

Misty then says that they're talking sweet talk to each other.

What kind of sweet talk, hmm?

After Ash asks why, Misty then says that she's a romantic.  "How can you tell?"

"Well, I happen to be quite an expert on matters of the heart."

Misty then explains that Ash is not mature enough and he'll find out soon enough when he's grown up.  Little hint what might happen in the future, hmm?

Ash cries to himself at this comment, saying that he is mature enough.

Translation-Hey, don't reject me!  I want you, too!

As Maria and Tony are talking their dirty "sweet talk" to each other, Emily walks over to the balcony, and pours water over the balcony on Tony, yelling "Take this, Romeo".

Romeo?  The pokemon's name is Tony!

Ralph runs over, ralphing all over himself on the way, and walks back to his house, which is RIGHT NEXT to Emily's house.  What, is this The Shining, or something?

Misty then screams in anger, saying that she must do something to make those two Nidoran be together.  Ash says it's none of her business, but Misty says that she'll make it her business.  She then says that love is the most important thing in the world.

"Not more important than catching pokemon."

Misty goes ab-so-lu-te-ly ape-shit over this comment, and shows her true side to Ash, scaring the be-jesus out of the little boy and making him cry.  Misty then proceeds to flex her muscles, and Tracey looks at them in again, a very disturbing way.

Team Rocket hides behind the bushes, spying on the group, and Meowth gets the very horrible idea of capturing the two Nidoran and giving it to them in a box, neatly wrapped in a KFC manner.

Meowth, you schmuck.

Nidoran, male or female, are so damn easy to catch in all versions of pokemon, and I doubt Giovanni will want a pokemon that can be caught with a regular pokeball!

After the "Who's That Pokemon", the scene changes to Misty writing something.  After Ash asks what it is, Misty then explains that she's writing a love letter to both of them(It's not what you think!) which is supposed to fool them to think that the two like each other.  Ash asks her if this is going to work.

Misty grabs Ash's collar and pushes toward the wall, much like the manner in which Misty would grab Ash and go for her man, but hey, it's different this time!  Misty then yells at Ash, saying it will work.  Ash says that she could get arrested for mail fraud, but Misty says that they will end up thanking her for this.

Misty then says that Ralph and Emily like each other, but are just too stubborn to admit it.

Tracey then makes the very stupid mistake of saying "You know, those two are just like you!".  Although that is true, Ash and Misty take a 30-second break to lay the smack down on Young Master Sketchit.

Scene changes back to Team Rocket.  Meowth is shown talking to both the Nidoran, trying to convince them to come out and to see the other Nidoran.  After the plan fails, Jessie is angered and tells of her love life, saying that every one who stole her heart ended up breaking it.

Meowth then makes a very strange comment.  "Now I know why she's such a nutjob."

Nutjob?  I'm not sure I even want to know what that means!  It sounds like a very bad way to say lubejob.

Jessie then exclaims that it's time to move on to Plan B.

Misty, Brock, and Ash are hiding in a tree, looking for Ralph and Emily and their reaction to the letters.  Misty then says that her plan is foolproof, because she even packed presents!(Yay)  Ralph got a model airplane and Emily got a bouquet of flowers.  Expected to see happy faces, Ralph and Emily walk toward each other with very angry expressions on their faces.  The two go at each other again, and it is then revealed that Ralph throws up on planes and Emily is allergic to flowers.

Misty's plan has failed, but church bells begin ringing and two mysterious people appear in the walkway.  It's actually Team Rocket dressed up as a bride and husband!  And guess who's the bride?

Yes!  Yes!  It's James!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, he's so gay!  Jessie plays the husband, and has her hair rolled in a very strange way, much like how men used to do it a few years ago(you know, with a whole bunch of hair out in front), and James' face is invisible.

Team Rocket steals both the Nidoran, and after their do this, a very large cake arises below them, raising them up high.  The cake opens, and the Meowth Balloon is revealed.  Team Rocket flies away, unaware that the cans in back of their balloon(which is supposed to symbolize marriage) are falling, making a trail.

The group follows the trail, until it stops.  The group finds Team Rocket, and Nidoran escape, but Team Rocket send out their pokemon to fight the two Nidoran.  Both of the Nidoran beat Victreebel and Arbok.

To make a long story short, the Nidorans kick some Team Rocket ass.

After defeating all their pokemon, Team Rocket panic, but Meowth sends out a sucker that tries to capture the pokemon.  Pikachu is to save the day, so Pikachu jumps up to the sucker, but not before smiling a very evil smile and Thundershocking the whole balloon.

The balloon floats away, but Misty decides to give them more, and sends out Staryu to pop the balloon.

Ralph and Emily decide to call a truce, but they don't want to give up their pokemon.  Tracey suggests that they build a house in the middle of their two houses, and they do, which is similar to a doghouse.

Tony and Maria walk over to the doghouse, and for the first time on Pokemon, they kiss, and right when they do this, they evolve!

Is this supposed to be a good thing?

No!

Tony and Maria are transformed into the two damn ugliest pokemon I've ever seen on TV, and with the combination of the bow tie and other clothing, it gets even worse.

Tracey then wonders if it was the kiss or the battle that changed them, but Misty blushes and smacks him away, saying that he's just a goof.

Ash begins to wonder if kisses really do change people.  Misty then answers in the best possible way any woman out there can.

"Guess we better find out, huh?"

Translation-Hey, Ash, let's do something out of the ordinary today!  Kiss me, baby.  I've been a bad pokemon trainer.

Ash, the schmuck that he is, then replies in a very Igor-way.  "Huh?".

The boy doesn't get it, doesn't he?

And that's it!  It all ends right here!

Crap!

The End.

My take on this?  This episode was pretty good, since it had some humorous parts, some hot romance, and a lead on to Ash and Misty's relationship.