Episode #105-Charizard Chills

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Caterpie!

By Zidane

The announcer starts off by saying that Ash and his friends are riding on Lapras after realizing that they only need one more badge to compete in the Orange League.

But wait a minute.  Aren't there four badges in the league?

Yes, there are!  Ash opens his jacket(not in that way!) and reveals that he has three badges.

Now how did that happen?

Easy!  Kids WB was actually stupid enough to play this episode before Misty Meets Her Match, so we actually get to see Ash earn the third badge right after he already has it.  Stupid animators.

However, the silence ends when they see a boat heading right towards them.  Misty is scared straight, and tries to protect Togepi.  The boat stops right next to them, and someone walks out and apologizes.  It turns out to be...

Bruce Springsteen?

The rockstar walks out and talks to the group, trying to remember the good old "Glory Days", but Misty scolds him and demands that he apologizes to Togepi.  Bruce Springsteen apologizes, and says that it makes her pretty face look like a Tentacruel's.

I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.

Misty is not outraged, and lingers over the comment, and you can even see red hearts over her head.

However, Ash is not impressed, and explains that some people think Tentacruel look butt-ugly, and that he thinks Springsteen is one of those people.

Bruce somehow recognizes Ash, and calls him.  He introduces himself as Tad(!), not Bruce Springsteen, and says that Ash must have just won at the Trovita gym.

Ash only says, "Uh...", and the title screen is read.

It's sad to think about what happens when Kids WB doesn't play the episodes in the right order.  Just because of that, they made Ash totally clueless that he won a badge and they didn't give it much time in this episode.  Kids WB should start realizing their mistakes fast.

Tad says that he was just at the Trovita gym, and he overheard the leader mentioning his name, and by the description, he was sure that this person is Ash.  He claims that the gym leader said that Ash uses pure power.

Misty decides that it's the right time to bash our beloved Ash, and says that it's what Ash uses when he doesn't use his brain.  Ash retaliates, but Tad interrupts and says that he likes to battle skilled Pokemon trainers.

In a hilarious scene, Misty puts her hand on her forehead and begins to look around for a skilled Pokemon trainer, but Ash stops her and starts pointing to himself.

Tad decides to challenge Ash, and of course, Ash accepts.  They decide to battle on the island they're about to land on.

The island turns out to have a small volcano in the middle, and the island is in the shape of a hexagon.  Team Rocket is on it building a certain machine, and Meowth spots the boat coming toward their way, with Ash and the group on it.

They land on the island, and the battle begins.  Ash agrees to a 2 on 2 match.

Ash, of course, being the dimwit that he his, sends out Pikachu first.  Tad sees this, and notes the electric type, and sends out a Poliwrath.

With some sort of gold belt covering the swirls on its belly!

Ash uses his pokedex on Poliwrath, and the pokedex says that Poliwrath is extremely powerful because its muscles give it massive attack power.

Tad explains that back at his home, they hold a competition to see who is the most powerful Pokemon.  Tad and Poliwrath won, and the award is that gold belt.

I like to call that championship WWF Smackdown.

Tracey warns Ash that it might be some sort of trick, but Ash disregards it and orders Pikachu to Thunderbolt Poliwrath.  Tad orders Poliwrath to Double Team, and Pikachu finds himself surrounded by Poliwrath's using their penises to spray water at people through the gold belt.

Lorena Bobbitt would love this scenario.

Ash gets smart and tells Pikachu to use Quick Attack.  Pikachu runs through all of the Poliwrath's at frightening speeds and finally Thunderbolts the correct one, but it does squat to Poliwrath.

Tad tells Poliwrath to do a Hypnosis on Pikachu to stun it.

Tad finishes the battle by making Poliwrath do a weak Water Gun attack.

Or as I like to call it in this scenario, Hydro Piss attack.

Poliwrath has been building this up for quite a while, and unleashes his fury as he sprays a mighty beam of urine at Pikachu, making Pikachu fly back in horror of the intensity of pure blue urine.

Tad explains to Ash that matching up elements is not all the skills that Pokemon battling requires, but it also requires the element of surprise.

Ash decides to surprise Tad and sends out Charizard, but Misty and Tracey see that this is a bad idea.  Poliwrath and Tad are stunned.  Charizard first burns Ash's ass, then flies into the air mindlessly.  Tad questions Ash and asks if he's sure if that's the pokemon that he wants to use, but Ash is sure.  Tad then says that Ash will never get into the Orange League this way because having a powerful Pokemon is nice, but not being able to control it is not.

Tad thinks this is pathetic, and decides to end the match.  He thinks "It's time to show Ash how a real power Pokemon finishes a battle."

So he orders Poliwrath to do a Water Gun on Charizard.

Yeah, that's lethal, all right.

Charizard is not impressed, and flies back on to the island.  Charizard Flamethrower's Poliwrath, but Poliwrath is not affected.  Tad is impressed at Charizard's power, but he still says that Poliwrath is stronger.

Poliwrath Water Guns Charizard, but Charizard dodges and Flamethrower's Poliwrath again, doing nothing.

Ash realizes the situation and orders Charizard to do another attack, but Charizard doesn't listen and keeps doing Flamethrowers.

Ash orders him to do a Megapunch?  Flamethrower.

Burn in the fires of Inferno!  For the royalty!  Lee-aaaahhhhh!
-Quote Inferno, Beast Wars Transformers

Tad has had enough, and decides to finish the battle.  He orders Poliwrath to use Ice Beam on Charizard.

Poliwrath is somehow able to channel his urine into his hands(probably by self-pleasuring).  Poliwrath fires a beam of iced urine at Charizard, and Charizard is hit.

Charizard is frightened as a whole wall of frozen pure blue urine forms around him.  Ash runs over to him and tries to thaw him out.

Tad leaves, but tells Ash that he's willing to have a rematch.

Team Rocket is surprised at Ash losing the battle.  Later, at night, a fire is burning, and as Charizard lies on the ground next to the fire unconcscious, Ash is massaging his back in an extremely disturbing way.

And I do mean disturbing.

Pikachu walks up to him, and asks Ash if he's alright.  Ash holds up his hand, and sees that they all burnt.  Ash says he's alright.

Charizard wakes up, and goes wild, but when he attempts to burn Ash, only smokes comes out, and he faints yet again.

After the "Who's That Pokemon?", Ash and Misty are rubbing Charizard, and Tracey is examining the tail flame.

Misty decides to get her blanket, and Tracey gets more firewood.  Ash is seen rubbing Charizard again, but this time, Charizard cannot be seen, and it looks EXTREMELY funny as he does this.  There's Something About Mary, anyone?

Misty walks over and puts a blanket on Charizard so that Ash won't burn his hands.  However, Misty is tired, and decides to go to sleep.  Tracey and Ash start rubbing Charizard together, and in another EXTREMELY funny scene, they're rubbing Charizard but Charizard cannot be scene.  Whoa, either they got some pretty good dates, or their hands are gonna be king for a night!

Charizard wakes up, but still can't Flamethrower people.  Ash comforts him and tells Charizard that what he does is always for the best, and tells him that he's been there for him ever since he was a Charmander.  Charizard begins to have the same-old flashback that they always play when something important is about to happen.

After the flashback, Ash, Misty, Tracey, and Pikachu are all rubbing Charizard in their disturbing ways, but Misty and Pikachu are getting tired.  Ash, however, stays up and keeps rubbing Charizard, but he also falls asleep.

After he's awake, he sees Charizard standing up, signalling that Charizard is alright.

However, an explosion nearby shakes the silence, and Pikachu is thrown into the air, and swallowed by a large drill!  Team Rocket reveal themselves by yelling out their motto, and Pikachu is trapped in their drill!  Tad runs over to Ash. Team Rocket sends their machine underground, but Charizard pursues it with Ash riding on him.  Charizard is about to Flamethrower the machine, but Ash warns him not to because he'll also burn Pikachu.  Ash asks him to break the drill, so Charizard steps on it and breaks it wide open!  Pikachu is freed, and Charizard's tail flame begins to grow larger...

Ash uses his pokedex, and Dexter claims that Charizard is using Rage.  Charizard's Flamethrower eventually becomes very large, and it destroys Team Rocket's machine, sending them flying.  Misty, Tracey, and Tad congratulate Ash, and Tad remembers his promise for a rematch, so they have it.

Poliwrath uses Water Gun on Charizard, but Charizard uses Fly and dodges it.  Charizard uses Flamethrower, and then Poliwrath does something so absurdly painful that it's surprising they would show it in Pokemon.  Poliwrath spins around quickly and sprays his Hydro Piss everywhere, dousing the Flamethrower attack.  Charizard uses this as an advantage and runs over to Poliwrath to use Take Down, but Poliwrath stops him with Mega Kick, but Charizard blocks it!  Then Tad gets an idea and quickly uses Ice Beam, but Charizard dodges and flies into the air, spinning into Poliwrath, sending him flying.  Charizard picks up Poliwrath in the air, as he prepares to do the Seismic Toss.

Charizard takes Poliwrath out of orbit on Earth, a la "Volcanic Panic", and sends Poliwrath crashing to the ground.  Charizard has won the match!  Tad congratulates him, and they eventually say their goodbyes.

Ash is extremely happy, and claims that he's going to beat everyone now, which is kind of true.  However, when he's about to do the little relax-lean-on-something-with-your-hand thing, he pushes Charizard, and Charizard proceeds to burn his ass.

The End.