Episode #111-Hello Pummelo!

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Dragonite!

By Zidane

The episode starts out rather quickly with Tracey saying, "Well, there's Pummelo Island!"

So The Orange League is located at Pummelo Island.

Ash is feeling confident, as he does talk to Pikachu about how nothing can stop them.  But they lose their equilibrium(like James would) and fall off of Lapras!  Poor Ashy.

Ash climbs back on, wet and full of salt water, as Misty tries to ignore her huge sexual urge by looking straight at Tracey's ding-dongs.  However, Tracey pays her no heed(Civilization II!  Yay!) and instead spots something flying over the ocean.

In one of the best scenes I've ever seen in a Pokemon episode, a Dragonite is shown flying across the water and then ascending into the air, only to be blinded by the pure whiteness(White power, my ass) of clouds and industrial polution while movie music plays!  That's right, folks, during this scene, 4Kids decides to play Dragonite's theme song for Mewtwo Strikes Back!  Hooray for 4Kids!

And boo for Kids WB.

Ash and the gang do not recognize the Dragonite as their memorizes were erased in Mewtwo Strikes Back.

Ash and the gang arrive at the register(just like at the Indigo League) and Ash opens up his coat, loosens up his tie(if he had one), loosens up his pants, and shows his badges!

It's not what you think!

A man at the register puts a metal detector(?) over each of the badges, and the computer instantly pops up with images of the badges and a picture of Ash Ketchum.  The man figures out who Ash Ketchum is easily while it is obviously impossibly because badges have no electronic equipment in them.

Or do they?  Hey, the Japanese government can be just as oppressive as the United States government.

While this is happening, Chubbo(Pokemopolis' name for Tracey) is examining a bust of a Dragonite while he looks at its invisible crotch.  Tracey pulls out his sketchbook to sketch Dragonite for times when he's lonely and floating on some big horny sea.

Ash thanks the man and prepares to leave, but Misty calls out to him and tells him that he's forgetting something.

Ash doesn't know how to interpret it, so Misty helps and says that he forgot to ask directions to the Pummelo Stadium.

Directions!  Dang, that Togepi must be latched onto her medulla or something.  Men don't need directions!  We like to find stuff ourselves while having nifty adventures involving a donkey and a 7-foot camera.

The man guides them to Pummelo Stadium, which seems to resemble the Roman Colleseum model in the movie Gladiator.  He turns to his left to show him the Winner's Palace, which resembles the Jefferson Memorial.

I guess an American guy with historical knowledge and movie knowledge must have wrote this.

Yup, it's Spielberg.

The man leads the group into the Winner's Palace, which is cleverly decorated with statues of Dragonites with mouths open for a sexual orgy.

The man explains that each person that beat the leader of the Orange Crew gets their picture taken and stored in the dome along with a tablet of your Pokemon's footprints.

So that's all you get for fighting through 4 Orange Gym leaders and beating the leader of the Orange Crew?  Screw it, Ash, you might as well go out and buy yourself some Golden Globes.

The man tells Ash that in order to get the winner's trophy and your picture taken, you must beat the leader of the Orange Crew in a full-Pokemon battle.  Ash, of course, doesn't know what it is, so the man tells him that it's a 6v6 Pokemon battle.  Ash is apalled at the fact, and Tracey is too.

Misty, becoming more horny by the second, tells Ash that a battle like that could take a very long time.

The man still explains that each Orange Gym provided a different challenge because the gym leaders wanted to make you adapt to the fighting environment of the Orange League.

The camera scrolls over one of the former Orange League winners, which shows a Sabrina/Jessie hybrid along with her Pokemon, a Magneton, Gyarados, Blastoise, Sandslash, Jolteon, and one other that I can't figure out.

Tracey, driven by sexual rage, can't hold the urge any longer and asks about the Dragonite statues.  The man tells them that those are Dragonites, and they guard Pummelo Island.

It is then revealed that the leader of the Orange Crew, Drake, has a Dragonite himself.

Hmm...  Draconian, eh?

Drake is shown thinking to himself, until his Dragonite lands right beside him.  Drake, obviously stoned on some wacky tobaccy, asks Dragonite if anyone can beat them.

Team Rocket arrives(yay!) and compliments Drake, telling him what a nice Dragonite he has(Get your mind out of the gutter!).  The stoned Drake doesn't notice the R printed on their shirts and interprets it as a M, so he asks them if he can help them.

Notice at this scene, there is a fold in Jessie's short skirt that makes her look more mature than before.

Jessie asks him to prepare for trouble, and James asks him to make it double!  In a split screen, the camera moves up Jessie's legs, while the other camera moves down James' body.

Drake still doesn't get it and explains that if they want to battle him, they'll have to register just like how Ashy did already.  However, TR doesn't want to, because they just want the Dragonite!

"You can't be serious", says Drake, realizing that the drugs have worn off and that James is gay.

But ol' TR is serious!  Before Jessie and James can throw out their Pokemon, Drake decides to sleep off the hangover while asking Dragonite to Hyper Beam Team Rocket.

Team Rocket still believes they can beat Dragonite.

And end up getting their asses handed down to them on a stick.

Dragonite lays the smack down on Team Rocket, sending them flying into the same drug-polluted clouds that Dragonite inhaled earlier.  Hmm, psychodelic!

Ash chooses everybody!  Everybody fires their elemental beams, but that does squat to Snorlax, who is still sleeping.

Nurse Joy asks him what is going on, and Ash explains to her that he can't get Snorlax to wake up.  Ash tells her that he fed him an hour ago, so Nurse Joy tells him that it will take days for the Snorlax to awaken!

"What a nightmare!" yells Ash.

So Ash goes on to video phone and phones Professor Oak, which should probably cost him a fortune unless he dialed Collect.

Professor Oak awakens from the hangover and the aftermath of great sex and answers the phone.  Ash explains to him that he can't use Snorlax, and he doesn't know which Pokemon to switch from.

Professor Oak, knowing how to make hard decisions(among other hard things), tells him his choices: Ash can choose the mighty Kingler, the horny Muk, or Tauros!

Tauros!

Tauros??

Hey, how did he get Tauros?

Easy, kids!  Kids WB never played Ash's Safari Zone adventure, but in that episode, Ash caught tons of Tauros!  The reason for this is because the warden was very trigger-happy just like Elmer Fudd himself and Kids WB thought that wasn't appropriate for kids, but what about Batman Beyond, or that horrible show Max Steel?

Ash transports Snorlax to Oak and he gets Tauros in return.  Ash sends out Tauros, which curiously moos!

The scene changes.  Jessie and James are walking on the beach after having some hot, wild sex under the sun.  Apparently they are so tired that they're even carrying walking sticks to help them walk.

James then makes an inexcusable comment.  "That was embarrassing!"

Yes, and that is THE face of erectile disfunction, ladies and gentlemen.

Jessie and James contemplate on how to capture the Dragonite until an ice cream appears and on a megaphone, it tells everyone that Drake is going to be facing a new challenger.

Meowth gets a plan and tells it to Jessie and James.

The Orange League Competition begins.  Ash and Drake walk out into the arena, while the announcer(which is curiously the same as the Indigo League announcer) introduces the two.  The two have a handshake, and Ash tells him that he has heard a lot about Drake.

Drake asks him if he's ready to battle, so Ash says yes.

The judge explains to Ash and Drake that it's a 6-on-6 Pokemon battle, so every 3 battles, there will be a field change, in which the battlefield will be transformed into something new.

So the first field they use is a rock and water field.  Drake decides to leave a good impression and sends out muscleman Ditto, which in turn shows off its cytoplasm fat.

So Ash sends out Pikachu first!  Drake orders muscleman Ditto to transform into Pikachu, so it does!

So Ash orders Pikachu to start things off with a Thunder attack.  Ditto, however is unaffected, as Thunder is its same element.  Pikachu lands, so Ditto unleashes its Thunder attack!  Pikachu is also unaffected.  So Ash orders Pikachu to use a weaker attack, Thundershock, while Ditto counters with its own.

It is curious to notice that Ditto sounds EXACTLY like Jigglypuff in this episode.

At this time, the two Thundershocks slam into each other, doing nothing, until the ground beneath the Pokemon crumbles!  Ditto dodges the rocks but Pikachu is injured by them.

Drake takes a heroin needle and plunges it into his skin, and as he feels the high coming, a black mark develops on his eye, so he orders Ditto to use Thunderbolt, but Ash's Pikachu goes to the ground and flings its tail into the air, absorbing the electricity.

Yup, nothing dodgy about Pokemon battles.

Ditto uses Agility much like Pikachu did in the past, so Ash tries to stop it by a Thunderbolt!  However, Ditto dodges them all so Ash orders Pikachu to do a Quick Attack!

Ditto counters with its own Quick Attack, and as the two clash in the air, they are brought back down to Earth, exhausted from all the fighting.  However, Pikachu is not, and gets up just in time to whack Ditto away like a fly.

So Ditto is defeated!  Hooray for Ash!

And boo for Kids WB.

Drake exclaims that his next Pokemon is going to rock, and cleverly enough, Onix comes out!  The announcer says that Squirtle has the advantage, but Onix is a rock-solid battler!

Squirtle starts off with a Water Gun, but Onix dives underground!  Ash sees Onix's strategy and tells Squirtle to run toward the water so that Onix won't get him, but Onix gets him anyway!  Squirtle is sent flying, but he still pursues the water, but Onix binds him!  Squirtle is trapped, so Ash orders a Withdraw.  Squirtle goes back into its shell.

Drake, too high on drugs and not realizing that he's going to lose the battle, claims to himself that he's gonna win.

Ash corrects him and orders Squirtle to use Hydro Pump.  Pure blue urine escapes Squirtle's shell from four sides and covers Onix, making the rocky snake cry in pain as he discovers that Squirtle's urine is more powerful than his.

Squirtle escapes and finishes Onix off by Skull Bashing it, frying a few brain cells along the way.

Drake then says that Ash doesn't stand a ghost of a chance against his next Pokemon, and cleverly, Gengar is sent out!  Ash recalls the exhausted Squirtle, and feeling Beginner's Luck, sends out Tauros for the first time!

Drake finally realizes Ash's mistake(although it would be a very good choice in the Pokemon TCG).  Even the announcer is shaken by Ash's decision, but Ash ignores it and orders Tauros to use Fissure!

Boy, he's going to have to pay a lot to repair the damages to the field.

Tauros uses Fissure, which makes Gengar slip around, and then he finally uses it, which splits the ground wide open!  Gengar dodges by jumping into the air, and Drake orders it to use Confuse Ray!

It works, and Tauros begins ramming all the rocks beside him.  So Ash recalls him, and sends out Lapras, who jumps into the water.  Drake admits that it's a smart move, so he orders Gengar to use Hypnosis!

Lapras escapes by diving underwater.  As Lapras emerges, Ash orders a Water Gun.  Gengar is a bit shaken, but it's unaffected.  Gengar leaps into the air and uses Night Shade attack, so Ash retaliates with Ice Beam!

The two attacks collide, and cause a massive explosion similar to the Mew/Mewtwo attack explosion in Mewtwo Strikes Back!  Drake and Ash are apalled at the destruction.

And the episode ends with a cliffhanger.  Which Pokemon has survived the blast?

The End...  for this episode.