Episode #113-Viva Las Lapras

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Electrode!

By Zidane

The episode begins with the announcer saying that even after Ash won in the Orange League competition, our character still can't believe his good fortune.

Ash stares at his Orange League Trophy like it had the words concentrate on it.

Misty asks him if he's going to stare at it all day long, so Ash replies with, "No, I'm going to stare at it all night long.  Right, Pikachu?"

Pikachu hesitates for a moment, and then yells "Pikachu!", which either means:

A:Yes
B:No
C:What am I, Richard Simmon's hairdresser?
D:I'd rather be sailing.

You choose.

Lapras, who obviously failed in Driver's Ed, makes a very sharp left turn as he enthusiastically swims toward his destination.  Ash looks ahead, and spots a whole school of Lapras.

Already, you can tell what the plot of this episode is going to be.  Lapras is going to leave.

Lapras is going to leave!

Joy!  I've waited long enough to see Lapras leave the Pokemon television show.

Tracey takes out his sketchpad(as usual) and begins sketching down the school of Lapras without looking at the paper.  With his luck, it's probably a sketch of himself wearing Misty's clothing.

Uhh..  freaky.

Ash deducts that this could have been the school of Lapras that his Lapras was seperated from earlier, as we see a flashback of his first encounter with Lapras.

So Lapras rushes toward the group of foreign Lapras, and you can even notice that one of them is lighter than the others.  However, the group of Lapras swims faster as they attempt to evade Ash's Lapras.

"What's wrong?" asks Ash, not getting the fact that this is the exact same situation as he had with Pikachu earlier.

Ash, willing to give up Lapras just like the rest of us here, yells, "Hey, why would you turn your back on your own kind!"

Hehe, racism.

One of the foreign Lapras, not wanting to have Ash's Lapras join their group, fires a water gun at them, slowing Lapras down.  The same foreign Lapras, probably addicted on some wacky tobaccy, fires a whole column of smoke at Ash and the group, hoping that they'll get stoned too.

But alas no, they don't breathe through their noses.  The group of Lapras escapes, and Lapras is left to cry and wallow in his own crapulence.

So Ash goes to his daddy, Professor Oak.  Even Oak exclaims that this is strange behavior for Lapras to abandon their own kind, since he knows a thing or two about abandoning(and pulling out, if you catch my drift).  Professor Oak, with bloodshot eyes(nothing that some well-placed LSD won't do), says that Lapras might be afraid of humans.

Ash explodes(yes, explodes) in front of Oak and questions why would humans hurt Lapras, so Officer Jenny cuts in and says that it could be because of Pokemon poaching pirates.

Yup, alliteration.

Ash, surprised that Officer Jenny isn't out there catching those pirates, asks her about them, and we see a flashback of Captain Crook(that's his name) using an 18th Century cannon on Lapras, firing at them as he goes.

Ash is suspicious, and tells Officer Jenny that it should be Team Rocket.  But Ash is proven wrong, as Team Rocket themselves appear!

"Prepare for trouble, assault, and battery!"
"Make it double, we appreciate the flattery!"

Team Rocket attempts to tell kids what kind of crimes we have here in the United States, causing tons of over-reactive parents to sue Nintendo and 4Kids.  Those who don't get it will have parents suing.

And those who get it will become serial killers.

Team Rocket rips off all their bandages, only causing them to injure themselves more.  Ash accuses them of piracy, but Jessie claims that they were victims, as we see a flashback of them re-enacting a scene from U-571 as a ton of cannonballs float to the bottom of the sea and blow up the Magikarp!

Officer Jenny asks them to go to the station while she looks up their file, but Jessie and James say "Suddenly, we feel much better!"

So Team Rocket crashes through the hospital, as Ash thinks to himself, "I hope they keep going."

It's an island, right?

One of the Lapras tells the light Blue Lapras to stay away from Ash and his friends.  They are scoped out by a nearby telescope, which is revealed to be Captain Crook's ship!

His cockmatey, which curiously sounds EXACTLY the same as Meowth(without the Brooklyn accent), reports to Captain Crook, which he in turn(heh, intern) orders him to fire the cannons at them.

The scene changes to Lapras.  Ash gets a horrific idea and decides to put on a phony smile to convince the Lapras that they're friendly, but Misty and Tracey refuse to, and suggest that they just talk to the Lapras.

They never get their chance, as Captain Crook begins firing!  The 18th Century cannons fire a bunch of pokeballs at Lapras, all revealing themselves to be Tentacruel!

Ash finally spots the school of Lapras, but Tracey brings out his binoculars and spots the Tentacruel behind them.  The group realizes that Lapras is being chased by Captain Crook, so Tracey sends out Marril to contact Officer Jenny.  Tracey jumps into the water.

And miraculously floats!

Yes, old chubbo floats in water!  Amazing what anime can do!

Misty leans over to Tracey and says, "Hurry back, OK?" while she injects a heroin needle into Tracey.

So it's up to Ash and Misty now to stop Cap'n Crook.  Ash, being the idiot that he is, sends Pikachu to go attack everybody.

And sure enough, Pikachu does attack everybody.

Ash realizes his mistake, but Crook isn't going to let him forget it.  Captain Crook threatens Ash, so Misty sends out all her Pokemon plus Squirtle to attack the ship.  The ship's cannons are destroyed, and the cockmatey is thrown overboard.

Misty invades the ship and captures everyone much like Hernan Cortes, but without murder.

Ash orders Lapras to Watergun the Tentacruel to draw their fire away from the school of Lapras.  Sure enough, the Tentacruel begin chasing after Ash.  TR follows under sea, but as they're doing that, James deducts that if the Tentacruel are catching up to Ash, and they're behind Ash, won't they be rammed?

Yes!  Team Rocket blasts off again.

Ash finds himself surrounded by a bunch of Tentacruel.  Fighting nothing like Jet Li, he orders Lapras to take them down one by one, so he orders a Water Gun attack.

Captain Crook is angered, and orders everyone of his Tentacruel to use Supersonic, which just causes Ash to go into a seizure.

But just as Tentacruel is about to attack, Lapras uses Ice Beam, and introduces him to pneumonia.

A whole flotilla of Ice Beams emerge, and freeze the rest of the Tentacruel!  The school of Lapras reveals themselves as they save the day.

Lapras greets them, and Ash says that he has a great Mom even though we were never informed that there ever was a relationship between the Lapras.  Notice that?

Misty frees the Tentacruel to the ocean, as Ash is still on Lapras.

Ash decides to free Lapras, and says "At least you won't have me on your back anymore!"

Hahahahahahaha!  Heh heh, freaky Pokemon sex.

Lapras decides to do it one more time, and throws Ash into the water.  Ash says, "Oh come on, I'm wet already!"

Heh heh.  Good ending.

It's time to go into flashback mode, as the music for Pikachu's Goodbye(don't know why) plays as we are shown to some of the scenes that Ash had with Lapras.

Digimon is definitely better.  No repetition.

Ash then does something that even horrifies me at the end of a goodbye.  "Get outta here!"

If you know me in real life, then you'll know why I laughed so much at this statement.

Lapras, angry that he's not getting any, dives underwater and throws Ash onto the boat as he joins the rest of the Lapras.

And....  cut.

The End.