Episode #116-The Rivalry Revival

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Dewgong!

By Zidane

A review is given of the previous episode by who else, the announcer.  Ash has gone back to his hometown, and has discovered some shocking secrets, among those a sexually abused Brock by sex vamp Professor Ivy back home and that Mrs. Ketchum is now insisting on doing orgies.

Ash and Gary are about to have their first ever battle(yay!), so Gary suggests to make it quick.  Ash agrees on a 1v1 Pokemon match, and sends out Pikachu.

Ash, you schmuck.  Send out Charizard.

Being a skilled military strategist(to which I am also), Gary had already anticipated this move and sends out Eevee!

So now we know that Gary has Arcanine, Nidoking, Nidoqueen, and Eevee.

Togepi loses control of Misty for a sec and Misty yells out, "It's so cute!".  Knowing that cute things can do some pretty painful stuff, Brock mutters, "Looks can be deceiving."

Heh, sexual denial.

Note the shiny coat that Gary's Eevee possesses.  Both Brock and Tracey notice this, and claim that it's a very well-trained Eevee.  Kind of like the German army.

Tracey then says that it's just about ready to evolve.  Well, then, in that case, you might as well just throw a Water Stone on it.

Knowing a bit about watching, not doing anything, and letting everybody else do the work(if you catch my drift), Brock remembers Professor Ivy and decides to be the spectator of the glorious battle.

The battle begins!  Ash and Gary decide to have a verbal battle.

"Watch closely, and maybe you'll learn something, like how to make it to the Top 16 in the Pokemon League and win the Orange League!"  Yells Ash.

Gary replies in an ABSOLUTELY bitchy tone.  "I'm here to battle, not talk."

Ash goes ab-so-lute-ly ape-shit over this comment and yells out loud at the top of his lungs, "I'm here to beat you, Gary!  Pikachu, Quick Attack!"

Pikachu listens and runs toward Eevee, but Gary commands Eevee to use Reflect.  A force field appears around Eevee, but Pikachu breaks through.  Eevee, however, jumps back in agility that Jet Li would be proud of.

Ash then commands Pikachu to use Thunderbolt, but Gary counters with a Double Team.  Ash realizes that it's no use, but Gary quickly counterattacks and orders Take Down attack!  Pikachu decides to imitate Eevee and uses Agility, and just at the right time, Ash orders a Thunder.

But Eevee is not roasted!  Eevee is not roasted!  Eevee quickly does a Skull Bash attack and knocks out Pikachu cold.

And Gary is the winner!  Gary is the winner!

Ash runs over to Pikachu and picks him up, and Gary recalls Eevee and COMPLIMENTS Ash on how battling.

Now what is this?  Since when has Gary gone soft?  Gary should be out there right now, handing Ash's ass down on a stick while claiming he's his sugar daddy.

Oh wait, no, that's Puffy in LA.

But Gary is in a hurry and has to jet.

Let's go to another scene, shall we?  Oh look, it's Ash Ketchum, sitting on a rock, next to Pikachu, watching the Butterfree flow freely(care to guess which former website had that as it's theme?), and his Tauros trample everything in sight.  He lies down at the rock, looking at the sky, until suddenly...

Misty appears on top of him!

Heh heh, it's not what you think.

But you have to admit, that did freak you out.  Misty actually says this in a seductive tone, "Care to guess where Gary is?"

Ash doesn't know, and Misty says that he's out on another journey.

The Johto Journies!

The scene changes to Professor Oak, who has paused his non-stop illegal sex with Mrs. Ketchum to take a look at the GS Ball.  It's fun to note that the computer programming code that appears on his screen is actually in the format of movie credits.  Ash walks right up to him and asks about Gary, so Oak explains that it's the reason why Gary has been training so hard lately.

Professor Oak can't figure out the secret of the GS Ball, and Misty exclaims that it must be inpregnable because Professor Oak couldn't crack it and Professor Ivy couldn't crack it...

Hearing the name of the illicit sex vamp Professor Ivy, Brock immediately goes to fetal mode and begins to experience a quote, unquote, "Withdrawal."

But Ash doesn't really give a rat's ass and asks the illicit Professor about the Johto League.  Oak explains that it's a very high-prestige league, but it's located in the west.

You know, by the amount of distance that they travelled, I'd say they were in Great Britain now.

But the animators try to fool us into thinking that Japan's a big country and tell us that the Johto League lies far west where there's new Pokemon.

Oak explains that the Johto League is extremely difficult, and that you must be skilled to win it.

Which is exactly how he described the Indigo and Orange League.

Since Gary is going, Ash decides to follow his namesake(since he IS Gary's uncle) and join the Johto League.

But Oak gives the GS Ball back to Ash because he can't figure it out, but instead wants Ash to go to Azalea Town to give the GS Ball to the Pokeball builder, Kurt.  It's funny to note that Kurt looks like a hippie version of Professor Oak.

With drugs and sex included.

Ash complains that going to the hippie is not groovy and tubular, but Oak explains that Azalea is one of the cities that one must visit during the Johto League journies.  Ash must first travel to New Bark Town to sign up for the league.

Misty makes a snide comment and says, "Since you participated in the Orange League, Ash, you have been getting kind of lazy."  Ash yells at her, but Tracey tries to break them up.

Obviously still experiencing the effects of combined LSD/PCP from Professor Ivy, Brock has a flashback and tells them that they need Brock to keep them right just like old times.

"We're heading west!" Yells Brock, having way too much of a flashback and remembering the days of Davy Crockett.

But Santa Ana of Mexico never appears in his mind, because Misty claims that he's actually pointing east.  Brock and Ash change directions, and Misty simply yells, "Yeah!"

Which was totally off plot.  I don't know what the Japanese animators were thinking when they did that.

The scene changes to Mrs. Ketchum packing Ash's things into his backpack while Mr. Mime helps.  Ash and the whole group pop into Mrs. Ketchum's room, and Ash asks, "What are you doing?"

She replies, "I'm just packing up your you-know-what.  I was just on the phone with Professor Oak, and he told me everything, so I'm packing everything up for you."

Heh heh, hot illicit sex is on the way!

But Mrs. Ketchum is impatient and wants some time alone with Oaky, so she gives the bag to Ash.

Happy that Ash is leaving, she decides to cook up a big bon voyage dinner for Ash's departure.  "You don't have to be THAT happy" says Ash.

But in the mood for a sexual orgy, Brock jumps up to Mrs. Ketchum and hits on her, telling her that he'll do whatever she wants, so she tells him to go get some groceries.

Brock obeys, but has to race Mr. Mime for them.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket is about 1 mile away from Pallet, but they spot Gary on the road!  So Jessie and James quickly build a stage and sing out their motto, but Gary goes the other way, making complete fools of them.

At the bon voyage dinner, Ash is reluctant to eat any of the food, but eventually does.  Professor Oak gives him an updated pokedex, and Tracey reveals that he will stay with Oak!

But before another sexual orgy can take place, Team Rocket, dressed up as news reporters, break into Ash's house and eat most of the food.

"This is a story of a mother's abiding love and a son's thirst for adventure!" says Jessie.

And it is this abiding love that has created this freak of nature, Ash Ketchum, and her sugar daddy, Professor Oak.

Brock has ANOTHER flashback and says, "You look familiar" to Jessie, but Jessie pulls a rather clever move.  "Please be aware that we are coming to you LIVE.  L-I-V-E, LIVE!"

Brock goes into psychodelic mode after hearing this.

But James ends the whole things and captures Pikachu by using a camera with a mechanical hand!  Ash realizes that they're Team Rocket, so Mr. Mime sends three Light Screens at them, but Team Rocket goes another way.

Jessie and James meet up with Meowth, but Ash orders Pikachu to do Thundershock.

Which just about does nothing.  The boy doesn't get it, doens't he?

So Scyther comes and SLASHES apart the camera evenly into two halves.

Without slashing apart Pikachu!  It's amazing what teleportation can do.  Marril comes out and sends Team Rocket flying.

The next day, Ash, Misty, and Brock prepare to leave for the Johto Journies, so Mrs. Ketchum, Prof. Oak, and Tracey fare their goodbyes.

Ash still doesn't get it, and yells, "Tracey, make sure my Mom doesn't get lonely!"

I don't think that's needed.  She's always going to be, ahem, "preoccupied", if you know what I mean.

But Tracey knows what I mean and excuses it.  And the episode ends with the group leaving for the next league.

The End.