Episode #119-A Sappy Ending

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Donphan!

By Zidane

The episode begins with the announcer saying that Ash, Misty, and Brock heading for Violet City.  But now they have to pass through a nice, leafy forest.  Which they do nearly every episode.

Using as much force as he has to get his genitalia up, Brock opens his eyes a bit and stares ahead, and notices that a few of the trees are completely stripped of their leaves.

But Misty notices something even more bizarre, and stares at something else, which is...

Something that I cannot believe that they ever let the WB network show!

A bunch of Heracross are all stuck on a tree, making fake sexual intercourse with it like Hugh Hefner.  But without the Playboy Mansion.  You can even see the Heracross stick their sharp, pointy horns into it, pulling out all the sap out of the tree while taking all the pleasure for themselves.

Hmm, perhaps they were watching a porno and lost all sense of reality?

Ash gets a chance to find out and uses his pokedex on the Heracross, which tells him that they're usually docile, but they possess great strength.

This triggers something in Ash's weak, feeble excuse for a mind, and instantly he says, "I better catch one!  That way, I'll benefit because I have the Heracross, and the tree will benefit!"

But a man corrects him and says that he'll do more harm than benefit, and it is revealed to be...

Diedrich Bauer with sideburns???

Oswald Harvey of the Drew Carey Show apparently has grown a beard and has become a park ranger.  He tells them that the Heracross and Butterfree share a special relationship, because the Heracross break open the trees and suck some sap, while the Butterfree suck the rest.

Hey, with a little luck, this could make a great porno film!

But Misty thinks that the trees will be hurt because they will be sucked dry in the process.

But Bauer tells them that the balance of nature has been shifted off balance because of a group of invaders.  And just who are those invaders?

They're a bunch of aphrodisiac-laden Pinsir who are looking for a great time!

Coincidentally, these Pinsir rush to the scene and start hugging the tree in a very DISTURBING way, while the park ranger exclaims that "they'll suck the forest bone dry."

Hehe, bone dry!

The Pinsir proceed to chase the Heracross and Butterfree away so that they can intercourse with the tree themselves.  But a lone, stupid Butterfree has stayed behind to get killed.

But a lone, stupid Heracross has also stayed behind to get killed!  Brock, knowing a bit after aphrodisiacs after his encounter with the sex vamp, Prof. Ivy, tells Ash to go fight off the Pinsir.

Ash sends out Bulbasaur, who proceeds to sweep the Pinsir off their feet(get your mind out of the gutter!) and knock them down from the tree.  The Pinsir are apparently so drugged that they can't even feel pain(yup, it's PCP and Ecstasy) and get right back on the tree, so Ash uses Pikachu!

Pikachu Thunderbolts them, which knows them back into their senses.  But a Thunder finally chases them away.

Ash calls to the Heracross, telling it that it's safe to come down.

This sets up one of the most DISTURBING scenes of Pokemon EVER.

The Heracross, using its bug-like wings, flies down from the trees slowly, lands on the ground, and...

Begins sucking on Bulbasaur!

Yes, Heracross has apparently heard the Monica Lewinsky Cigar joke and has also watched the chubby little intern do a little work with our little 'Prez, and is now trying it out for himself!

Bulbasaur, however, does not know who the heck Clinton is, but he does know who Mohandas Gandhi is!  Bulbasaur proceeds to use its Vines to whip away Heracross, who flies away in a screaming fury.

Ash has realized that the Heracross wasn't protecting the Butterfree, it just wanted to get more sap!

Or in this case, it just wanted to get more head!

Ash pats himself on the back, commenting himself on work well done, but the park ranger exclaims that the Pinsir will be back with reinforcements.

It appears as if the Pinsir and the Heracross have their own seperate forests, but something has been driving the Pinsir into the Heracross' forest.

But Misty, already seeing the plot of all filler episodes, regains control of her body over Togepi and tells them that they should go, but Ash must be an Action Hero again and asks if they can help!

So the group decides to take a trip into the Pinsir Forest to see what's wrong.  Along the way, the horny Heracross appears again, but Bulbasaur chases it away.

Finally, they reach the division between the two forest, which turns out to be a very deep canyon.  Of course, across every canyon, there's always a rope bridge.  Which is always sliced apart.

It's an entertainment thing.

Ash notes that the Pinsir have used trees to cross the canyon, but Woodruff(the park ranger) notes that the bridge was sliced apart by humans, not the Pinsir.

"What kind of a person would do something like this?" Asks Ash, who STILL doesn't get it.

Three guesses at who that could be, hmm?

However, they notice the same horny Heracross behind them, pushing a tree over!  The tree falls over, and creates a bridge that they can cross.  Ash, Woodruff, and Brock cross successfully, but Misty isn't crossing.

Togepi leaps off of Misty's barely developed chest and walks across the artificial log bridge, but trips and falls over!  Of course, Togepi will have none of it, and orders her slave Misty to save it!  Misty be-grudgingly accepts and swipes Togepi, and crosses the bridge.

But Heracross has managed to sneak a quick grope with the tree, even above a deep, long canyon that will surely bring its ultimate doom.

"I think Heracross just wanted to knock down some sap!"  Exclaims Misty.

Hahahahahaha!  Knock down something indeed!

The group is nearly in the forest now, at the tallest tree.  Ash finally reaches the tallest tree, but notices a huge Pinsir on it!  But Woodruff apparently has good eyes and sees that it's a mechanical Pinsir.

Cue Team Rocket!

Team Rocket appears, and reveals their unstoppable plan!

While doing their motto, the background is white in a certain way that you're sure Kids WB has watched Beast Machines, which plays at the same time Pokemon goes on.

But they can never match the integrity and prestige of Beast Machines, which has gotten countless good reviews from TV critics.

But anyway, Jessie and James explain how they got their plan in the first place.

It's flashback time!

Apparently, Team Rocket was very hungry while walking through the forest, and noticed a rather strange smell.  Meowth goes over to a tree, and notices that there's sap all over it!  But they're too hungry anyway, so Meowth tries a lick, and LIKES IT!

Yes, Survivor Fans, Meowth likes it!

Jessie and James try it out too, and giggle and exclaim to themselves in their own girly ways, and Jessie gets an idea!  She wants to open her own pancake restaurant and use sap instead of Maple Syrup.  She'll even call it the International House of Jessie!

But they're too lazy anyway so they built the Mechanical Pinsir to suck out all the sap for them.

Ash, of course, thinks way too wildly, and thinks that the entire forest will be destroyed, so he decides to stop the Pinsir!

James sends out Victreebel, and Jessie sends out Lickitung, and they both do...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Yes, that's right, both Victreebel and Lickitung end up sucking sap out of trees.

So Meowth unleashes the Mechanical Pinsir at them!  Ash uses Bulbasaur, which does nothing with Razor Leaf, but uses Vine Whip and twists it around!

Pikachu shocks it, but as usual, Ash doesn't get it, and hasn't yet figured out that every new device that Team Rocket builds is shock proof.  The Mechanical Pinsir uses Pikachu's electricity against them, and Ash and the group are shocked!

It's about time!

The Mechanical Pinsir looms maniacally over them, looking to kill, but Heracross comes to save the day!  After battling impossible odds, the Heracross manages to kick some TR ass while killing the Mechanical Pinsir along the way.

Everything is restored(as usual), but as Ash and the group leave the forest, we are treated to a scene similar to the Squirtle Squad episode.

Heracross appears at the end of the road, and wants to join Ash!

So Ash now has a new Pokemon within his ranks!  Heracross!

The End.