Episode #99-The Mandarin Island Miss Match

Who's That Pokemon?  It's Machop!

By Zidane

Wow, totally dodgy episode(In Pokemopolis' point of view)!  Anyway, to start us off, the scene begins with Ash fighting an unknown trainer.  The trainer sends out a Butterfree(It's the one that shown with Professor Ivy.  You know, the one with those red spots) and Ash sends out Bulbasaur.

What the heck are you thinking?

Plant is absolutely horrible against flying AND psychic.  However, Ash takes over the show and bends the rules, making Bulbasaur Razor Leaf the Butterfree and winning the battle.

Oh, that Ash!

The trainer is disappointed, and leaves, but Ash yells out a very disturbing battle cry and claims that he is the very best.

Misty, disappointed that her secret love is acting up, blushes and attempts to undermine Ash's confidence.  Ash, gullible as usual, goes on and says that no one can beat the master trainer, in which he is referring to himself.

Ash is feeling hungry, so the group goes up to the patio and begins eating.  Ash does a Drew Carey as he eats whole sandwiches in one bite while speaking.  Well, as least he didn't call out Lapras.

Amongst eating, Misty asks him to take it easy.  Ash answers in a way that every pokemon trainer would dream of.  He wants to eat fast in case he has to beat somebody else!

Misty sighs and blushes yet again, but Tracey comes over with an announcement.  He holds up a poster and says that he has figured out the mystery, and upon asking, he says that he has figured out why there are so many trainers on Mandarin Island that want to battle.  He continues reading the poster, saying that the one and only Prima is here.

Ash doesn't bat an eye, but Misty goes lesbianioc over Prima.  Misty then shows off her lesbian techniques, by saying that Prima is one of the very best and that she would be honored to meet her.  She says Prima's a hero!

Hey, what a coincidence!  Prima suddenly appears next to the table, asking that she's a hero, and as Tracey and Misty stare at Prima in horror, Ash starts staring at her, and then chokes and gets a star on his left eye.  Turned on, Ash?

The group is shocked to see Prima moments after they read about her in the paper, and Misty and Tracey walk right over to Prima and begin asking her questions.

Heh heh.  I love this part.

Misty and Tracey walk over to Prima, staring STRAIGHT AT HER BREASTS, whilst asking several questions and comments, with one of them being Misty saying "It's just an honor just to see you!!!"

Yeah, Misty, it's an honor to see her cleavage.  Yeah.  Moving right along...

Prima, being almost exactly like the sex vamp Professor Ivy(as Pokemopolis puts it), totally shuns them and walks right over to Togepi, saying "Hello there, cutie.  Nice to meet you."

Before Prima and Togepi can have freaky pokemon/human love, Team Rocket looks from a hidden bush at the group.  Jessie points out there's a girl there that is only talking to Togepi, so Jessie and James zoom in.  James says that he's seen her somewhere, but he doesn't know where.

The bed, perhaps?  Come on, don't be a wussy.  'Fess up.

Prima walks over to the balcony and leans over, exposing more of her cleavage, and begins to philosophize about the wind.

Prima throws her hands up into the air and throws her body forward.  No, she didn't just jump out of the balcony.  And NO, she did not do a little strip gig that has gotten out of fashion.

She tells the group that the sun feels like an old friend, and begins to babble on about other things in nature.  Tracey and Misty don't understand, and Ash walks right over to her and demands a battle.

Misty gets Chia-Pet pissed, and tells him to be polite.  Ash doesn't listen, and keeps requesting battles, while Prima keeps philosophizing.  Ash then gets the very stupid idea of thinking that Prima is afraid to battle him in fear of losing.

Ash, you schmuck.

Ash walks out of the patio and finds another trainer to battle.  The trainer's name is unrevealed, but he agrees to battle.  Ash sends out Squirtle, and the trainer sends out Persian.

Ash and the trainer try to be nice to each other, by letting each other make the rules and letting each other go first.  Ash goes first and does a Water Gun on the Persian, but the pokemon retaliates and the trainer tells Persian to do Thunderbolt.

Ash, you're toast.  And how the heck can a Persian learn Thunderbolt?

The electric attack fries Squirtle, but Squirtle does Withdraw and survives it.  Ash then orders it to Skull Bash, and Persian is defeated.

Then the trainer sends out Tauros.  Now, you're really dead, Ash.  Tauros tackles the Squirtle and beats it, so Ash gives him a taste of power and sends out Charizard.

This isn't Revelation Lugia yet!  Charizard does not obey!

Ash hasn't grasped that concept, and Charizard totally doesn't obey him.  Charizard fries Ash, but the trainer scoffs him and sends Tauros to do a Takedown attack on Charizard.

Dumb trainer, isn't it?

Charizard goes ape-shit and burns the crap out of Tauros, making Ash the victor.  However, Charizard flies into the air and begins burning everything in its path.  Prima walks over to Ash and decides to save the day instead of collecting dust and annoying the crap out of American audiences.

Oh, that Prima!

Prima sends out Slowbro, and Slowbro does a Disable attack on Charizard.  Charizard floats back to the ground, and Ash finally recalls it.

Prima is finally talking, and begins to tell Ash of his mistakes, but she has to leave, so she invites them over to her demonstration program mentioned in the flier.

The scene changes to a Pokemon Stadium.

Now how the heck did that happen?  They can't be in the Indigo Stadium because that's too far, and the Orange Island Stadium hasn't even opened yet!  Another weird part is that the announcer is exactly the same as the Indigo League!

What, is this announcer in the same situation as Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy?

Prima is now battling a trainer.  She beats the trainer 3 times in a row, using different pokemon each time.  It is revealed that she has a Dewgong, Cloyster, and Slowbro.  Now why the heck did 4Kids Entertainment change her name to Prima?  It's Lorelei!

Oh, and I also noticed a mistake in the film. One of the battles she had were between a Cloyster and a Kadabra.  At the time where Cloyster defeats Kadabra, the Kadabra yells out "Alakazam!".  Gee whiz, how stupid can these guys get?

Notice during the battle scene that whenever Prima sends out a Pokemon, the camera starts shaking like crazy over her body, revealing her breasts and her legs.

The scene changes to the group inside Prima's house(!).  Again, Misty and Tracey are complimenting her on her skills in battling and how she defeated all her opponents in one fell swoop.

Well, that's the way of the league!  You must have one-hit KO's!

Man, Prima looks FREAKY with her eyes closed!

Ash then says that he figured it out.

Heh heh.  I love this part.

He says that Prima is using perverse psychology on him.

HAHA!  Perverse psychology!

Although that is particularly true, since Prima is seducing all of them by wearing those skimpy clothes.  It's actually reverse psychology, you schmuck.

Prima then explains that her battle style is like water.  When she's not battling, she likes to go with the flow.  When she is, she's as unforgiving as ice.  And when she's done, she just melts back and goes on again.

Get your mind out of the gutter!

Prima then walks out of the house and leans on the balcony again, and Ash challenges her to a match again.  This time, however, Prima accepts.

The scene changes to a Pokemon Stadium imitation in Prima's backyard.  Prima insists that they battle one on one, so Ash sends out Pikachu, while Prima sends out Cloyster.  Pikachu does a Thunderbolt on the Cloyster, but a Withdraw from the Cloyster makes it not effective.

Pikachu then does Agility, which makes the Closyter confused, and Pikachu finally does Thunder on the Cloyster.  Cloyster is very injured, but uses its injuries to do Rage.  After Ash wets himself, he tells Pikachu to do Quick Attack, but an Aurora Beam from the Cloyster makes Prima the winner.

Ash is dismayed that is Pikachu lost, but Prima decides to be generous and picks up Pikachu and cradles him right next to her breasts, conveying a message that she wants him so badly she's even willing to breast feed.

Holy crap, that was nasty.

Team Rocket FINALLY arrives, and after doing their motto, they claim that they're not here to steal Prima's Pokemon, since she's too powerful, but want to steal Ash's Pokemon?  Meowth then tells her to stop her lecture that she was doing to Ash(Get your mind out of the gutter!) after defeating him.  Meowth then asks "Hey, do you have your lecture on CD?"

Heh heh.  I LOVE this part.

Prima then simply responds.  "Tape only.  $18.95."

I nearly wet myself laughing at this one, but that was quickly interrupted as Prima decided to play Hero and made Team Rocket blast off again.

The group leaves Prima's house, hoping to see her again(Git ya min' ou of da gutta!), and Ash and Pikachu then propose to each other to be better friends(?).

The End.  Mercifully.

My take on this episode?  This is a Kid's show!  Even though most people that watch Pokemon would like to see more action and more mature content, this episode deems inappropriate because it shows either Prima's very short dress, legs, or breasts every 4 seconds.  Holy crap, I need to take a shower.